The place for comic book writers to be

Hi, Could you take a look at the first part of my story. I hope to convert it into a graphic novel and although it is written in prose I have tried to write it in such a way that it would be easy to convert. http://phoenix-from-the-wasteland.com/admin.php?ctrl=items&blog=1&p=48 Any thoughts or feedback would be greatly appreciated. Cheers, McGarr
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